Postmenopausal wives become victims of divorce

KUALA LUMPUR:  Women with low sex desires in their postmenopausal stage have become victims of divorce cases and the figures are increasing and it has become a social phenomenon.

The question is whether this is a real phenomenon or just a strong belief among the aged women who have been left/divorced by their husbands after a long marriage?

For further clarification on this issue, Malaysia World News (MWN) has interviewed the Dean of Faculty of Medicine and Health Sciences of UCSI University, Prof. Dr. Zarida Hambali who said that there are some statistics on divorce cases among Muslim couples in many Islamic religious offices throughout the country.

However she said, there is no in-depth study on specific reason such as postmenopausal that causes the divorce.

“I would say that divorces are caused by many reasons and postmenopausal is just a coincidence, not rampant but it happens and is not a social phenomenon.

“There are many young married couples who are requesting for divorces and the same goes to couples in their 50’s and live in the urban areas,” she said in an exclusive interview with MWN on Thursday (27th September).

Prof. Dr. Zarida Hambali

Dr. Zarida had a session on “Changes in Menopause” (Does menopause need laboratory test?) with a group of Muslim Women at Surau As-Siddiq, Bandar Tun Hussein Onn, Cheras. The event was organised by the women division of Surau As-Siddiq for its Dhuha Talk series.

Dr. Zarida feels that 50 to 70 percent of the men understand the situation of postmenopausal women (wives) and they will commensurate with much lesser sexual activities in a week.

“It is reported that 10 percent of the Muslim men are polygamous even though their wives have done “vaginal reconstruction”, that is tightening the vagina,” she said followed with laughter from few women sitting around her.

Talking about “vagina reconstruction, Dr. Zarida said, women’s vagina could be tightened by undergoing an operation and injecting botox.

However to the Muslims she said, the Fatwa Council has imposed the “Hukum Haram” to Botox injection.

“I do not agree that a man divorces his wife just because she has reached postmenopausal stage. Everybody has to accept that when a woman reaches menopause “everything” will be reduced and this applies to the man too even though they reached andropause at a much later age.

However she told MWN that men’s sex desires will be very much reduced when they are very sick, have heart problems, diabetes and hypertension ( high blood pressure ).

Dr. Zarida also advised women to be prepared at all time as men’s sex desires are unpredictable as sometimes even though they are sick they still want to have sex with their wives.

“It is good that the couple applies estrogen crème to their sex organs as this will help the woman’s vagina to be wet and thus avoid injury to the man’s sexual organ skin. The creme also enhances the couple’s sexual drive,” she said.

She said, women should be consistently “healthy” to enable them to take care of their families and husbands.  For that they should take lots of health supplements like calcium with vitamin D3 to slower the osteoporosis process and bone pain.  For pre and post menopausal stages, women are advised to take phytoestrogen (plant based). To increase the knee and joint “lubricant” they can also take glucosemine chondroitin sulphate.

Dr. Zarida also advises women to eat lots of green vegetables favourably steamed and also consume variety of fruits. They should drink at least 2 to 2.5 litre of water that is equivalent to 10 glasses every day. Chilled water is also good for the body.

“All women should do kegel exercise even at old age. This exercise will control the urinary system as well as strengthening the vagina muscle hence giving good effect to sex activities.

“A woman has to take health supplements to stay healthy, presentable and attractive to her husband. Any changes made should be done according to a woman’s means and her husband’s expectations.

“Women sometimes have to be humble to their husband, be attentive and beware of the surroundings and pray hard for Allah’s (God) blessings. Always think, act positively and never say or feel old and weak,” she reiterated.-Malaysia World News

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